Customers Aren't Angry They're Afraid!

A tremendous amount of time, money, and energy is invested in corporate America teaching customer service reps and other associates how to avoid, reduce, and remedy conflicts with customers.

Examine the classes offered by giants in the training industry, and you’ll always seem to find something pertaining to “Dealing With Conflict & Difficult Customers.”

It’s an appealing title, to be sure, and robust registrations will support such offerings.

But it’s all based on a faulty premise: That the major impediment that needs to be addressed, remedied, overcome, is dealing with angry people.

What if customers aren’t angry?

Wouldn’t this make most of these efforts misguided, if not utterly wasted?

Wouldn’t that mean we’re prescribing the wrong medicine for what ails us, and them?

Consider this alternative explanation. When customers call in, using a loud voice, expressing themselves in fits and starts, and even taking personal swipes at CSR’s, these people are not angry.

They’re afraid.

If they’re afraid, they need reassurance. Like a child who hears a disturbing sound in the night, customers need to be comforted; to be told that they’ll be protected, that they’re safe.

They don’t need to be engaged in a debate about whether there’s something lurking out there. You can appeal to that rational side of the brain all you want, and you won’t put a petrified kid at ease.

You don’t have a “conflict” with your child. Your interests are identical. You’re on the same team!

While the child may be expressing herself aggressively, that is her defensive reaction to fear. It makes no sense to attack her defense; that will just obscure the underlying problem, even more.

So, does this mean conflicts don’t exist? They exist, but we need to define them, properly.

Conflicts are misunderstandings and disagreements about facts. The customer who says she sent in her charge card payment on time, and the rep who disputes that, are in a state of conflict.

But beneath that, is the fear, fostered by the client that she’ll be wrongly charged late fees and finance charges. Assure her right away that you’ll waive any unexpected penalties, and the conflict becomes moot.

Suddenly, nobody cares about proving whether the customer did or didn’t send in her payment.

The key is to look through anger to determine the underlying fear. Be a good customer-doc. Go beneath the symptom, to the real problem.

Then, apply the proper care and cure.

Dr. Gary S. Goodman, President of Customersatisfaction.com, is a popular keynote speaker, management consultant, and seminar leader and the best-selling author of 12 books, including Reach Out & Sell Someone® and Monitoring, Measuring & Managing Customer Service. He is a frequent guest on radio and television, worldwide. A Ph.D. from USC's Annenberg School, Gary offers programs through UCLA Extension and numerous universities, trade associations, and other organizations in the United States and abroad. He is headquartered in Glendale, California, and he can be reached at (818) 243-7338 or at: gary@customersatisfaction.com.